


"I did?"

by Ephemeral_Joy



Series: "When I kissed you" // Stydia [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Stiles' POV, Stydia, going more in depth on their first kiss, the kiss 3x11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 09:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11803032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ephemeral_Joy/pseuds/Ephemeral_Joy
Summary: Going more in depth about the stydia kiss in 3x11.Or, what Stiles is thinking during the whole ordeal.





	"I did?"

Stiles had officially given up his feelings for Lydia.

  
Yes, he still cared for her deeply, but his once romantic attraction for her was now platonic. A sad feeling washed over him when he realised, but he knew it was for the better. She chose for guys like Jackson, Aiden and numerous other distractions during the summer. She didn’t date lanky, dorky guys, she dated muscular and cool dudes.   
As they walked down the corridor, her braid flailing on her back, she groaned, ‘Aiden isn’t texting me back.’   
He stopped, annoyed by her exclamation. He still hasn’t figured out what she saw in the buff guy who could become one with his twin. She turned around, staring at him with a questioning glance.  
‘Okay, but maybe we could just, go over there and…’, just then, he got a text from Isaac.   
No. This couldn’t be happening. Stiles’ body went rigid.  
Her eyes looked concerned. ‘Oh God… what is it now?’  
Stiles tried to comprehend the words, putting them in order, reading them over and over again. He didn’t want to believe it.   
‘It’s from Isaac. Jennifer, she took – she has Allison’s father – she took him. She’s got all three now.’  
His hands were trembling, legs buckling and his vision started to blur. He could hardly pocket his phone.   
‘There’s still time,’ Lydia starts. But he didn’t hear her, helplessly trying to even his breathing.  
Breathe in and out, Stiles. In and out.   
‘We still have time, right?’  
The hallway seemed to shake and tremble, leaving his sight in frames and not a fluid movie.   
He gasped loudly, finding his balance.  
‘Stiles? You okay?’  
The loud noises seemed to be fading in an all-sound chatter, he raised his hand to Lydia as if he motioned to give him a minute. Breathe Stiles, breathe.   
‘What is it? What’s wrong? Stiles?’  
As she said his name, Stiles snapped out of his dream like trance, his breathing heavier now.

‘I think I’m having a panic attack.’

They stumbled into the boys locker room, letting helmets and sticks clatter to the ground without a care. The main focus was Stiles now.

He slammed into the side of a locker and slides down with Lydia next to him who was in a state of sheer panic. Perhaps for the first time in Lydia’s life, she didn’t know what to do.  
‘Just try to think of something else,’ Lydia frowned anxiously, feeling frustrated she couldn’t help him with his panic attack.  
Stiles’ breathing got heavier to a point he didn’t realise existed. His heart was hammering in his chest he could’ve believed he was having a heart attack. His breathing did not regulate whatsoever, even though he did the exercises he was asked to do by the doctor when these situations occurred.   
‘Like what?’ he managed to respond.  
‘Uh, happy things! Good things! Friends, family!’  
Stiles looked up from the ground, Lydia now realising her mistake. His mom was as dead as the leather of Lydia’s shoes and his father was – if they didn’t do anything – bound to die in a matter of hours.   
‘Ah, I mean, not family,’ she narrowed her eyes tightly. She was so smart, why couldn’t she think of something?  
‘Oh God, okay…’, almost immediately, all the medical information she knew about panic attacks coursed through her brain. If the situation wasn’t so bad, she would’ve smiled. Meanwhile Stiles’ situation was getting worse. His hands clutched the cold ground tightly, his eyes shut and the tears were about to get spoiled. Breathe, just fucking breathe, Stiles!  
‘… just try to translate your breathing.’  
‘I can’t… I can’t.’  
Speaking hurt like a bitch, as if knives were put in his torso and twisted around several times. It costed him a lot of energy to say those two stupid, little words. His vulnerable state made her flustered, new boundaries in their friendship were set. This wasn’t the light hearted Stiles she daily saw. This was the Stiles after he closed the curtains and bid his friends a “See ya tomorrow!”   
This _was_ Stiles.   
Lydia cupped his cheeks, obliging him to look at her. By chance grounding a person to someone helped.  
‘Sh, sh, Stiles, look at me,’ his eyes widened a bit, noticing how close her face was. Not involuntarily, which occurred more than often. _She_ decided to help him, _she_   got more intimate to help him out.  
‘Shh… look at me.’  
Her features grown more serious, desperate. He appreciated it, but he couldn’t stop. The panic attack kept stabbing him in the chest, prickling his eyes and taking all the energy out of him.  
‘Shh… Stiles…,’ she said his name like a whisper, soft and delicate. Something also changed in her face, what once was helplessness, was now determined and… desire?  
Lydia smashed her lips on Stiles’ open mouth, and suddenly everything went frozen in his body. His eyes widened, staring at her closed eyes and thick lips. Almost subconsciously, he kissed her back, grasping the moment, and adding pressure from his side of the kiss.   
Lydia would never admit it to him, but she liked the kiss. Honestly, it was an impulsive decision, as a last resort to stopping his nightmare. But once he was out of his rigid state, he kissed her back, with so much passion it confused her.  
He counted, he had counted the seconds. He wanted to memorise the whole kiss before the dream was over. It lasted ten seconds, ten seconds where the lips of the precious Lydia Martin on his.

They slowly broke apart, both having their eyes closed, scared to see the look on each other faces. But when they did, it was something Lydia might never forget.  
Realisation.  
It was if Stiles finally sorted his feelings for her out. Definitely when he saw her features, a certain shock and surprise that was blatantly visible.   
He never quite understood Lydia Martin, with her antics and weird behaviour. Nor did he actually ever think he had a chance. That ten year plan was just for him to hold on to, not ready to let go over a crush he had for years. If you pined after a girl since third grade, it would make you too sentimental to give in to the feelings of understanding, understanding that the crush is dumb and will never go in both ways.

But now, even though it was a kiss to help him, he might latch on onto the crush a bit longer.

‘How’d you do that?’ he whispered.  
‘I, uh – I read once that holding your breath can stop a panic attack… so, when I kissed you… you held your breathe.’

Yes, Stiles was still deeply, utterly, madly in love with a strawberry blonde girl called Lydia.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed walking into the mind of Stiles. I hope I've done him justice. I've written this a long time ago, before season 6 was even mentioned, so that's why I chose for Stiles' POV, not Lydia's.
> 
> My Tumblr: http://stydiahasconquered.tumblr.com/


End file.
